A Discouraging Week

April 23, 2013

So I have one more post that was ready to go on Monday that would have brought me up to 'real time' blogs.  However, I just was not feeling the post it just yet, but rather write a new one first.  Last week was rough for many people.  First, there was the Boston marathon bombs and if that didn't get you, there was a fertilizer plant explosion in West that seemed to hit a little more close to home for us Texans.  I remember thinking about the families mostly of people who were injured or killed during these two circumstances and it is heartbreaking.  On Thursday morning as I was driving to Castroville I came across a wreck where they had completely shut down a section of I-35 and as I passed the jack knifed 18 wheeler that was spread completely across the highway and saw all these men in the drizzly rain in the ditch picking up large car parts and such, I couldn't help but cry and then just start praying for all these people from the entire week and their families.  My heart was so heavy for them because these are life changing events for some people while the rest of the world will watch the news in shock for a brief moment and then move on with their lives as if nothing has happened.  People will remember it briefly, but there are others who will wake up every day for the rest of their lives affected by these events.  I know that's how I feel about Molly so many times.  The rest of the world seems to be able to pick up and keep going while I'm stuck over in my grief over my baby girl because while it was tragic for others to see, it has completely altered my life. 

God never intended for us to experience death and suffering the way we do.  Some people ask how a good God could let tragic events like this happen and the simple answer is sin.  Sin happened. 
"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man [Adam], and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned."(Romans 5:12)
God intended the world to be beautiful and perfect, but we are sinners so God's new plan was Jesus. (Not that it was really a new plan to Him, he knew we would sin.)

I think something we need to remember during tragedy is that God is sovereign and good.  He is a good and loving God amidst everything bad.  And oh my how I have struggled with the questions of 'why would a good God do this to me' and 'what did I do that was so bad to deserve this punishment of having my baby girl die before ever really knowing life'.  God did this because Molly had served her purpose and the days that God specified for her before she was born were up.  It was a way to bring people closer to Him.  And neither Jeff nor I sinned so bad that we had to be punished, we were chosen.  I don't know why and I don't necessarily like it, but we were.
"Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin." (Deuteronomy 24:16)
I don't know the purpose for these tragedies this week, but God has one.  And these are just the tragedies we saw... there are probably many others from this past week that we don't even know about.

"There are only two things I can do in respect to God in a time of grief: I can move toward Him or I can move away from Him." (Dr. Paul David Tripp)

Ever since Molly died, I feel acutely more aware of pain and suffering and just really "feel" for people who are going through a hard time.  My emotions are on a totally different level these days.  Before Molly died, I would have seen the tragedies this week and been sad for a moment and then moved on with my day, yet again thankful that wasn't me or my family.  Someday it will most likely happen to me or my family though and maybe yours too.  So many people have told me that hearing Molly's story has made them appreciate their family more, cherish their time with their kids, hug them a little tighter and many other wonderful things.  They are wonderful things, but it still brings a tear to my eye.  Do we have to have a tragedy to make these things that much more important to us?  I think the answer is an unfortunate yes.  You don't know what you have till it's gone.  The question is who is going to have to endure that tragedy and while it wasn't me (thankfully) this last week, it has been me before.  That right there is God's purpose.

We went to Aggie Muster this past Sunday.  If you've never been, you should go.  It's one of the greatest Aggie traditions there is.  Where two or more aggies gather wherever they are (all around the world) to enjoy some camaraderie while they remember fellow aggies lost over the last year, all ages.  We went to the San Antonio Muster this year and as people still had tears in their eyes as they went to light the candle for their loved ones when their name and class year were called I shed a few tears with them myself.  I kept thinking about how we didn't have a "technical" aggie with a class year pass away, but a little aggie in our hearts none the less.  It was a rough week, but we still have hope in this fallen world.  As I write this I can hear my little 4 year old singing in the other room, "Where You go I'll go, Where You stay, I'll stay, When You move, I'll move, I will follow You..."  Seems only fitting to include this song on here now.  :-)

Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow...

All Your ways are good
All Your ways are sure
I will trust in You alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in You alone

Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow You
Who You love, I'll love
How You serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow You
I will follow You
Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for You alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in You alone, in You alone
Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow You
Who You love, I'll love
How You serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow You
I will follow You

In You there's life everlasting
In You there's freedom for my soul
In You there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

Where You go, I'll go
Where You stay, I'll stay
When You move, I'll move
I will follow You
Who You love, I'll love
How You serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow You
I will follow

 

"For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow." (Jeremiah 31:13)