After we found out we were expecting again, Jeff was ready to announce it to the world. I on the other hand would've waited a month or two on this pregnancy because not only was I not ready for it and shocked myself, but I could only imagine the judgement I was about to receive from everyone. I know I shouldn't care what other people think of me, but what can I say? I'm human and I do. Something I've struggled with my entire life. Easter was coming up that next weekend, we were headed to East Texas and Jeff thought it would be the perfect time to tell everyone. I immediately said no and no matter what argument he gave, I was not going to do it and he wasn't going to convince me otherwise. I did tell him that we needed to make sure we got a picture of the 4 of us during the weekend though, because when I was ready, I'd use it to announce.
We spent Easter not saying much because the only thing on our minds was this new baby coming. I even recall a lot of talk about losing weight and weight watchers because I had just started weight watchers 2 or 3 weeks before. Go figure! I get serious about losing weight and I get pregnant! LOL! People asked how it was going and what I was doing.... blah blah blah.... I wasn't doing anything anymore because I was pregnant and weight watchers was no longer at the top of my priority list.
We got home that Sunday night and Jeff told me that he could not take this anymore! Haha... he said he kept "almost saying something" in reference to a new baby coming. I told him, "OK, we can tell people.... but I can't do it in person or over the phone. I will start crying and won't talk and I don't want to do that." So, I used the pictures we'd taken that weekend and came up with these to email everyone:
I think everyone got a kick out them. I got a few jokes about "do we know how babies are made" and were we trying to be like the Duggars and a few others. I know pretty much everyone was as shocked as were, but it seemed like everyone was still happy and so was I.
Whew!.... Glad we got through all that.....
“You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.” --Luke 16:15
On this day exactly 2 months ago, my sweet little baby Molly died in my arms. Molly's death has changed me forever and I will never be the same. There will always be a part of me missing from this Earth. I want people to know that although I will never be the same and there will always be this little girl missing from my life, I am on a journey to find hope and joy in life despite losing Molly. I speculate that this is happening much faster than it otherwise would've because of my two precious boys, Logan and Hunter. They bring a lighter feeling to my life and can melt any feelings of guilt I have in an instant. I love them so much! Just like I love Molly so much.
“You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book” --Psalm 139:13-16
I remember getting the news. My only thoughts were "how am I going to keep up with five grandchildren?" I was having enough trouble keeping up with the four that I had. I also remember the day that I found out that it was "a girl." Extremely excited!!! Abigail is our princess and now another precious girl coming. I was excited!!!
ReplyDeleteEven though she did not get to stay with us that long, she is still a very special and precious part of our lives. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and the lives she touched. I believe in my heart that she continues to touch lives everyday.
Miss you little Miss Molly June. Can't wait to see you again someday. Love you.
Love you Shanna and Jeff.