We celebrated Easter last weekend and I'm not going to lie, it was hard. Really really hard. Christmas used to seem like the most significant Christian holiday to me and it is really significant... but Easter seems so much more important now than ever. Christmas is such a happy time because Christ was born into human flesh! It's a big deal and exciting! At Easter, it's still a happy celebration, but with a different tone. It's subdued. This Easter I found myself really reflecting on the fact that Jesus was human. He knew what it was like to feel human emotion such as sorrow, sadness and pain... and so many other feelings. He was fully human. I know he knows my sadness over Molly which is why He can comfort me. Not only did Jesus walk the earth as a human with human emotions, he obeyed God the whole time. Through all the temptation, evil, anger and all things Satan is for, he still stood firmly for God.
When I think about Molly's last 3 days or so, I always seem to immediately think of Jesus in the wilderness the night before he was crucified. Three times he asked God for this cup, this duty to die on a cross, to pass over him; if there were any other way; but not of his will, only if it was God's will. This is how I often felt praying for Molly. Please God, if there is any other way, please give us her life, but only if it's your will. I remember praying for it to please please be His will to let her live. She was His child before she was mine and He gave her to me for a brief time to care for and love and teach, just like He gave me Logan and Hunter to do these things. But in the end they are all His children first, He knows what's best for them and I just need to trust that. His will for Molly was to go home to Him sooner than I'd hoped and while I'm so sad, I'm also happy. She is in the presence of perfection. She has no hurt in her life. No evil, no struggle, no needs, no wants.... she has it all. She has God right there with her!
After Jesus was crucified for doing nothing wrong, he paid all the debt we'd ever need to get to go to heaven one day. Jesus didn't deserve this, he was perfect. We are the sinners, yet here is Jesus giving us a free ticket to heaven and all you have to is believe in Him. He made it so easy, yet there are still people who don't get it. You don't get to heaven by being a good person. You can commit the worst sins there ever was in human opinions, but in God's eyes a sin is a sin. Whether you murder someone or you gossip about someone, it's the same in God's eyes. So start again today, repent and try to do better tomorrow. You are going to fail no matter how much you strive to be like Jesus, but you don't stop trying and you don't stop believing. Jesus had faith that in 3 days he would be resurrected by God's power and he was. Easter, Jesus' resurrection is our ticket to heaven. God provided this way for us because He LOVES us.
"For God so LOVED THE WORLD that He gave His only Son, so that whoever BELIEVES IN HIM will not perish, but have ETERNAL LIFE." John 3:16
It says it right there in the Bible. You can stand firm in the Bible because it's true. It's not somebody's opinion about it and it's not made up in someones imagination, it's true and it's solid. When you have doubts, just look in the bible and you'll find reassurance. When you have questions, open the bible and it has answers. When you don't know who or what to believe, just go back to the basics of the bible and it will clear things up. It might take a little bit to find it if you don't where to look, but it will help you get to know the bible that much better (at least that's been my experience).
Easter was hard. It is something I'm so thankful for because it's the reason I will get to see Molly again, but I also see what she is missing with us. My brother and his wife had a baby girl, Emma, about 2-1/2 weeks after Molly was born and while we love her soooo much and are so thankful for her, it's a reminder of the fact that Molly is missing from the picture and it makes me sad right now. These were going to be two little girls who were going to be the same age and spending holidays together. I see her growing and people passing her around and I just miss Molly that much more. I love Emma with all my heart. I think someday she will be a happy reminder of where Molly would've been, but sometimes I hold her and just wish Molly were here to be a part of her life as well as everyone elses. I'm going to keep praying and having faith in God. He has met every need of comfort and peace I've asked for and I will keep asking because that's what He wants. He wants me to rely on Him.
No better salvation sermon has been preached than the words you have penned here on this blog. Amazing words from someone that is truly saved and trusts in the peace that her soul will someday be with our Heavenly Father. It brings joy to my heart to know that your Faith is so strong.
ReplyDeleteAs I think of Molly, which I do almost everyday, I think of God's plan. You were selected because of your faith and your excellent mothering ability to conceive a child and carry her for nine months. You talked with her, sang to her, and she lived in your family even though she was in the womb. She was born and had an incredible impact on many folks and then God took her to Heaven. God's plan plain and simple. Now we have a memory of her to carry until we meet again.
Your faith will inspire many. It has inspired me in a way you will never know and I cannot explain in words. I love you and so, very proud of you.