February 10, 2013
This weekend was a little tough for me as I remembered Molly on her 2 month birthday yesterday, while most of the other people in our lives didn't even realize it. Don't get me wrong... I'm not mad at anyone who didn't realize this... why would they? Life is so busy that I honestly don't blame them. However, I couldn't think about anything else before and after the day as it came.
I'm starting this blog for a number of reasons. First of all, I as Molly's mom, have A LOT of jumbled up thoughts, feelings and emotions since losing her and writing and blogging is a bit of an outlet to organize everything that I'm thinking. Another reason for it is I want to glorify God. Plain and simple really. Molly touched many lives during her brief moment on Earth, mine being the first. I want to tell the world what this sweet baby has done in an effort to bring others to Christ or make their relationship with Him better. I have been a Christian since I was 8, but I can tell you that I've never felt closer to Jesus than I do right now. If that's not God working all things together for good and for His glory, I don't know what is. And the last reason for this blog is just to share Molly's story. I want people to know what happened. I want them to know that I'm ok. I want them to know I'm still sad and I'm still grieving my baby girl. I feel a need to validate her short life to others who might think I should be over her death already. I want them to know that I will never be the same and I will always feel a part of me is missing. I know that my life will never be the same, but that doesn't mean I won't ever have joy or hope again. This will most likely document my journey to that joy and hope.
I love to talk about Molly and we do at our house. My husband and our little boys are always thinking about her and we all say what's on our minds and I love that. I am also aware that some people are just uncomfortable talking about her, or they don't want to make me sad or it's too sad to them. I would never force people to talk about her or look at her pictures, but I want them to know that I always want to talk about her and remember her. I will never forget her and I guess I kind of hope other people will not want to forget her either. I may cry or not, or be sad or not.... but I'm ok with that! As long as they are ok with it too.
I could go on about everything above forever.... I can't stop constantly wanting to shout that "Molly's life mattered!". I know you get the point... So, next post... our story will start! Until then, say your prayers and give whatever is on your mind to God. He hears you when you pray whole heartedly according to His will and He wants to give you everything you long for.
Shanna I admire your strength and faith! You are an encouragement to me and what awesome healing this blog will be for me and I'm sure others. I felt like I could never share our story of course this was over 20 years ago, I guess pre-social media days :) but Franklin forever lives in our hearts. I carried Franklin to 39 weeks and he was stillborn January 30, 1987.
ReplyDeleteLove ya and keep up the faith!
Thanks For the encouragement Ms. Patty! I love nearing about Franklin and I Think it would've been harder per-social media. I can put it out there giving people the option to talk about it... It would have been much harder to do thusin person I believe.
DeleteShanna you and your sweet family are in my prayers EVERY night and then I say a prayer for all other parents who have lost their sweet children. I never want to imagine what you are going through and her life did matter. I squeeze my babies extra tight every night, I look forward to reading Molly's story :)
ReplyDeleteLove this and love you new friend! I need to write something similar on my blog too. So glad we met this weekend!
ReplyDeleteShe is beautiful! She looks like Auntie Gal and Little Ma...You all are constant in my prayers and I am so thankful that you were drawn closer to our God when most would have been angry in their mission of trying to understand of why. Keep posting, keep talking about Molly. Her life ABSOLUTELY mattered. She was here, she made a huge impact, she is perfection, she is love.
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible and inspirational blog. I am very excited to hear that the weekend was blessed and I pray that the experience will help in the healing process. I also pray that it helps in finding God’s will and plan through all of this that has happened. I am one that let the first couple of months of Molly’s birthday slip by but on the 3rd month as we traveled to Russia, she occupied my mind as I missed her terribly. Everyone that knows me can tell you how much my grandchildren mean to me and just because little Miss Molly is not here with us, does not mean she is not any less special. Her seven precious days here with us touched me in ways that I cannot even explain. I pray her memory lives on in our hearts for a very long time. I rejoice in the thought of someday being reunited with her in Heaven and hearing her laugh, sing, or whatever joyful noise I know she will be making. God kept a very special angel for Himself but He did give us some very special moments with her. He gave us some very special time together as a family and saw many people praying. In my heart, her memory is one of thanksgiving and praise for a Heavenly Father that has given many blessings, a family of love, and a memory of a sweet little girl that touched many lives. I pray for you and Jeff daily and hope that God will use you both and that you find His plan for your lives. Stay strong! Deuteronomy 31:6 - “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
ReplyDeleteShanna, I am so proud of the woman, mother and daughter that you have become through Jesus Christ our Lord.This has been a hard journey, but we could not have gotten through it without our faith in our God, Day by day may get a little easier but Molly's spirit will live on through Jesus Christ forever. I am so thankful that we were able to spend time with Molly and I'll cherish those memories forever. You amaze me everyday of the faith that you have and the lives that Molly and you have touched. She will forever be in our hearts!You and Jeff are amazing parents and we could not have asked for any better!
ReplyDeleteI love yall so much!
I am and continued to be so amazed and inspired by your faith...I am one of those people you touched as you kept your faith so strongly through everything you have been through. I look forward to continuing to read more about Molly June as I think of her, you and your family very often. Quite honestly, each time I look into my Cupcake's eyes, take and post her monthly photos and say my prayers every night. Because God could come to call her home at anytime. I am so happy to see pictures of Molly, she looks a lot like her brother Hunter, at least in pictures she does :) Thank you for sharing Molly with us. xoxo, Christie P
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